I am exactly at the middle of my trip in India. I have not posted thus far for several reasons but mainly because I have not been ready until now.

Inner peace cannot exist if there are boundaries within the heart. These words were gifted to me today which served as the fine tip to my ink pen which I have been writing from. 2 weeks ago it began as my exploration of fear pointing to the blocks that were preventing me from moving forward. I know I am not the only person seeking truth and this chapter is for those fellow seekers.

When I arrived at the ashram I was handed a long list of rules and schedules and that made me want to grab my things and head out onto the dirt road and do it my own way. I have always been adverse to rules and regulations, I carried the title of most rebellious in my graduating class in high school, and I have left many extracurricular activities for this reason as well. I knew then that the cage that I felt I was trapped inside was of my own creation, which didn’t help me in the moment, nor did the fact that I had to keep dredging onward throughout the day. I was fighting myself and it was bloody. I finally unhooked and slept; the next day I was determined to give to myself what I thought I needed and to see things differently, and I did.

This place provides the setting where one can stop and think, question, explore. There is no where to hide, no one to blame, nothing else to do but focus on YOU. Its silent and constant. All of the static melts away and there left is a suggestion, take it or leave it. Will I have the courage to be insecure, to question, to think, to really look at my reflection? Everyday that suggestion is the same.

When I was 15 years old during a mass held in my catholic high school, I looked around me and there were several people who had a peace about them through their faith in the god that I was learning about. And I thought, although I do not believe in their particular outlook, I can still respect that we are all seeking and it doesn’t matter how we climb this mountain just as long as we continue to climb. Nearly 20 years later, across the globe, in a sweaty room crammed full of people from around the world and way too many mosquitos I heard someone say not only the same thing but actually give it volume. He said human beings are greater than religion. That religion should act as the means and not the end. That we should not proclaim any religion if it means that we will only accept that way of thinking and not continue to ask our own questions.

I often speak about evolution as a way to describe the act of moving forward and today this same man so eloquently presented the boundaries within that way of thinking.. Evolution has to do with time and space, and therefor will only evolve within those dimensions and perhaps what we are striving for goes beyond those dimensions, that we could essentially awake from that dream (time and space) to realize the other dimensions in which we can participate within.

I have traveled thousands of miles and climbed hundreds of steps, felt the rich velvety soil between my toes and have carved out a space within my heart that has always existed but was lost amongst the clutter. Ironically I have been helping people deal with their own clutter and reorganizing their lives and making it beautiful, all the while I have been neglecting the most important space of all, my sacred space within my heart, soul and spirit. I am happy to say I have located it, I am still under renovation and will continue to share my process with you. For now, namaste.

Francis